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Archive for May 6th, 2009

Roller coaster

I’m sorry for the lack of substance in my recent posts, but I have spent these last three days on an emotional roller coaster.  On Monday morning I took a pregnancy test, which came back positive. 😯  I came downstairs crying, but not tears of joy.  I have never wanted children, I have tried to ensure that such a thing would not happen for the past 17 years.  I cried and cried, and the boy was just so great, so comforting.  This was seriously my worst nightmare, and honestly, it left me between a rock and a hard place.  How do you even make a decision when neither option is a good one?  

I called my OB/GYN and she wasn’t able to see me until Tuesday so I wrestled with this all morning while the boy held me and we watched Slumdog Millionaire, mostly to keep me distracted.  After the movie, the boy wanted to get me out of the house and go for a walk, but it was raining, so he suggested we go to the mall and walk around there. Before we left I decided to take the second test in the kit, which came back negative. 😯  WTF?!?  I came downstairs and told the boy that one of the tests was lying.  We went to the mall, and I walked around in a daze and stayed that way for the reminder of the night.  

By Tuesday morning I was feeling a little better, certainly not in as much shock as the previous day.  We made our way to the OB/GYN at 11am where they gave me another urine test – also negative. Next, I was sent to get a blood test.  I was trying to be hopeful, but everything I read on-line indicated that false positive results are nearly impossible with urine tests because they are testing for the presence of a hormone (hcg) that is only present when pregnant.  The urine tests have trouble detecting small amounts of the hormone, however, so the negative results were certainly explainable.  

I did get my appetite back on Tuesday, and was extremely close to binging on those blondies.  I actually had to throw some of them out so that they were no longer sitting on the counter.  Thankfully, I was able to talk myself out of the emotional eating.

This morning the results of the blood test was supposed to be in.  I was bracing myself for a positive even though I wasn’t quite sure what I was going to do if it was.  Of course, I didn’t receive a call right away this morning like I was expecting.  I called their office at 9:30, but was told that the Dr. still had my file because an emergency had come in that morning.  I did FINALLY get the results at 10:45.  Blood results – NEGATIVE. 😀 *Happy Dance* 

So that’s that, crisis adverted. So my product review on CVS Digital Pregnancy Test 2-Test is to NEVER GET THIS TEST :D. Even though I was not happy to have this experience I am thankful.  It has brought me and the boy so much closer, and has left us so bonded.  I just can’t even describe it.

Exercise: The boy and I went out for a really slow jog/walk interval session this morning.  My ankle has been feeling pretty good, so I decided to give it a go this morning.  The run went great, but it was sure hard to keep our “run” pace between 9:45 and 10:45.  My ankle didn’t give me any problems except a little on one hill.  I came home and iced so I hope I will be able to start running again regularly soon.

Breakfast (434 cal): I picked up Bob’s Red Mill Organic High Fiber Hot Cereal on Saturday so I mixed it with some oats, cocoa powder, and banana. I then topped it with soy milk, strawberries and peanut butter.  I think I’m going to have to try it by itself to get a better feel of it.
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Snack (170 cal): I grabbed some string cheese and had a kashi pumpkin pie bar for a snack.
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Lunch (296 cal): The boy and I grabbed a quick lunch at Panera.  I did a pick two with Garden Vegetable and a Greek Salad.  The apple was icky – I took one bite and tossed the rest.   
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Snack (262 cal): I was feeling the lack of protein soon after lunch so I stuffed the last of my mock tuna salad in half a pita and paired it with carrots and cucumber.
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Dinner (594 cal): A MorningStar Farms Black Bean Burger with cabot cheddar over corn and green beans and a sweet potato on the side.  For dessert I had an oiskos yogurt with frozen mixed fruit and a sprinkle of almonds and Kashi GoLean.
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Calories In/Calories Out: 1750/~2300

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